Spandex, Track Meets, and Weird Weather

My life, here in the Ozark Mountains, has been extremely crazy. This past Sunday I had the oppurtunity to go and preach at New Hope in Omaha, Arkansas. This was a lot of fun. You should have seen their faces when I started talking about spandex. They were like, "Who is this weird freak in our pulpit??!!" And I can understand. They didn't know me and my weird personality. It ended up being a fantastic morning, where the Spirit really moved. I got to talk to them a lot about their faith and the evidences of it in someone's life.



Yesterday I drove half way around the world to Gravette, AR to go to the JUNIOR HIGH track meet. Never having been to one before, besides the one in Eureka I stayed a total of 10 minutes, I really enjoyed it. I never could have imagined the races being so exciting. Berryville guys were crushing when me and the family left, but the girls were behind just little. Just a few shout outs to some of my students: Destiny, dude you amaze me at how hard you run and I appreciate the laugh from the triple jump. Ellis, I missed the shotput but watching you do the long jump made me want to go and crush the opposition. Whitely, You hit like three hurdles but you looked good doing it. Micaela, You looked like you had been running hurdles forever. Grant, I missed the high jump, sorry. Emory, You are a machine.



The weather here is really aggravating. It can be so nice for two or three days, and then it is cold again. The wind NEVER stops blowing.

Saturday's Seven

• I got up about 5:30 to go play some basketball in Eureka Springs this morning. I sucked it up, although I was proud Levi got out of the bed and went with me.
• I have finished alot on my exegesis, but I still have a lot more to go. We are now getting into the actual explanation of each passage part. This will be tough.
• We went to Fayetteville yesterday and got JP's new big boy bed. We put it in his room and asked if he liked it. He responded with a drop dead serious..."Noooooo".
• We still have about 6 spots left for M-Fuge this summer...Wanna go??
• I'm pretty upset I'll miss my basketball game tomorrow, but I'm excited about preaching in Omaha.
• I'll be preaching the sermon, "Spandex and Your Faith" tomorrow morning. It's a challenging, hard hitting message. Pray for the service.
• I told my wife I wanted to wear a spandex workout shirt to preach in, you know for visual effects. She responded with a drop dead serious..."Nooooo".

A Generation Enslaved

I'm more concerned today than I believe I have ever been about the views of Christianity by students. The more I talk and spend time with these teenagers, the more my heart breaks. The reason today's students are struggling so much with salvation is because they do not understand the work of Jesus on the cross. Everyone I talk to expresses his/her desire to stop sinning. Which is great news but we can't stop sinning. It's our nature. It's ingrained into the deepest part of our being. It takes Christ overcoming us, changing our desires, and transforming our hearts. Today's person tries to work for salvation or to not do things to be saved when that is not what Christ has asked us to do. Salvation is more than just not doing things against God's will...it's Him coming into our lives and becoming our Master, our Savior, our Lord. It's His desires becoming our desires. I can't explain how it happens. It's more than a feeling. It's more than a one night experience. It's God radically transforming you. How as a youth pastor can I communicate this message. We, sinners, are saved by grace, unearned favor from our God, through faith, belief in Jesus Christ. I do nothing to earn it. I deserve hell. I deserve God's wrath. I deserve eternal separation, but through Christ I receive this ridiculous free gift of an eternity with Christ because He loved me enough to pay for my sins with His blood. I want to see students, adults, senior citizens become so freaking saturated with the love of Christ that the thought of surface Christianity makes us sick. We can't do anything, but Christ can. Allow Him to change you. Meditate on the price Christ paid for you. He died. Philippians 2:1-11 tells us that not only did He die, but He left His Father in Heaven and all the glory to become a lowly man. To humbly die the worst death any person could ever know just for ME!! Just for YOU!! Don't you see He is worth it. He pulled me out of the pit. I can do nothing to repay Him for what He did. I can only give Him my life and be obedient to his every call. Examine yourself today...Are you working to try and earn His favor? You can't. It's all about Him and what He did.

DM Demolition

I got a long day ahead of me. I'm dedicating all day to work on my exegesis, but I love the blog world so much I thought I would be faithful to give you guys an update on last night.

• 16 Students again last night. We are really developing that core to our ministry and I'm liking it.
• Rush of Fools made and appearance last night as well as Todd Agnew. Rush of Fools challenged are students to pray for God to undo exactly what they had become and Todd Agnew made the announcement that he wants to be just like Jesus.
• We did the third name last night, "Everlasting Father". Our finite minds will never understand the concept of everlasting, eternity, forever...but that is exactly what our God is. We need to be sick as believers of living this life for ourselves because this life is so incredibly short. Instead we need to be storing for ourselves treasures in heaven, we need to be sharing our faith and laying our life down for the glory of Jesus Christ. The fact that God, the Author of Creation, the One who spoke it all into existence wants me to call Him Father is incomprehensible.
• Big Surprise coming up for our Desiring More service in a few weeks...God has got a big Word for our students.

Exegesis

I started writing my first exegesis yesterday. It's on Philippians 2:1-11:

1 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
The Humbled and Exalted Christ 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Webster's defines an exegesis by saying it is an explanation or critical interpretation of a text. Basically, what I'm doing is finding the author's original meaning when he wrote this text. I love this stuff, but it is so much stinking work. And since this is my first one I'm really wondering if I'm doing it right. The outline was surprisingly the hardest thing I had to do so far. I'm having to read a lot, and it amazes me how gifted some people are when it comes to understanding a biblical text. Ok. So this may be the most boring post in the history of my blogging career. I apologize.

Taste the Rainbow

I love candy. Maybe it it's the sugar...I don't know, but here lately I have been on a candy kick. Today I would like to give you guys my top five favorite fruity candy (does that sound gay?).

5. Starbursts- I love these things. They would have been higher but I absolutely hate having to unwrap each individual one.

4. Sour Patch Kids- I have never been really big on sour stuff, but these little guys are addictive.

3. Gummie Bears- These guys are classics. Who doesn't like gummie bears??

2. Jelly Belly- In 1976 the first eight flavors of Jelly Belly were born. Now they boast 50 natural flavors. That's right...I know my Jelly Belly.

1. Skittles- I know everyone is going to want to debate this, but seriously...There is nothing better than a good pack of skittles.

I would love to hear your favorites...Umm...Taste the rainbow

Saturday's Seven

• I love playoff basketball, Even if it is the NBA. Lebron James is a stinking beast. Don't listen to what Phillip says.
• My wife is enjoying the backyard more than I am, and I love it.
• I ready to play some basketball Sunday...
• Our new house is amazing. Of all the places I've lived, this is the all-time favorite.
• Will summer ever be here? I mean honestly, am I the only one incredibly tired of cold windy days.
• Me and JP have been reading through the bible together everynight. We read this one.
• I get to preach at New Hope Baptist in a couple of Sundays. The title of the message...Spandex and Your Faith. It's going to be interesting.

Magnum

You know some mornings I just get up thinking about weird stuff. This morning: Ben Stiller. He has got to be one of the funniest people ever. I mean think of his list of not only incredibly funny movies, but his incredibly everlasting funny moments. You know what I mean. Those scenes after you watch you repeat for days. Here are a few:

• Starsky and Hutch- "Do it"

• Meet the Parents- "Thank you oh sweet ,sweet Lord of Hosts"

• Zoolander- "Magnum"

What do you guys think about my Magnum face?? What are some of your favorite Ben Stiller Moments?

DM Demolition

I can always tell on Thursday mornings how good our DM service went. I am absolutely exhausted this morning. Last night was powerful. God is really working in some students lives and it is amazing to see. When afterwards you have students come to you with the deepest hardest questions about faith you can know they were listening, searching, and seeking. I'm proud of our core students that are constantly encouraging their friends at school. If it wasn't for them, no one would be here. They do the work. I'm proud of our parents who have their kids here every Wed. night and then work to take other students home after the service. I'm happy to be here at Southern Heights, but I'm stinking pumped about what God is doing in this church. Just for the stat guys here is some info for you:

• 17 Students were here last night with one first time guest.
• We talked about the name "Mighty God". God is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent. This service really hit some of our students hard when they realized that Hebrews 4 tells us everything lies NAKED and EXPOSED in front of God.
• We also talked about the wrath God will have on those who reject Him. (Nahum 1:3-6)

God is mighty you guys. I think we love to talk about His great love He has for us, and His love is great. But we also need to remember His holiness. God has called us to turn away from our sinful life styles. Examine yourself today...Just because no one else knows what you do doesn't mean God doesn't know.

Church Ain't My Bag

Last night, as most of you know, was basketball night. The night where we old guys try and make ourselves feel young by running around with some high school students. On a quick side note I feel myself starting to play like and old guy. I remember when I was younger playing with Matthew Murphy and his dad Mr. Robert. Me and Matthew would run around like crazy while Mr. Robert was fundamental. Last night I saw myself being...fundamental. That's not me. I was blocking out, playing tough defense, fouling hard and often, moving my feet, and using HEAD FAKES!! I'm past the age where I try to out jump everybody. Anyway, back to the orignal point here. I tried to witness to this guy I have been playing ball with every Tuesday night. A really cool guy who is a heck of a ball player. He said he was 28 just trying to have some fun and meet some guys. So I told him me and my wife teach this really cool Sunday School class that has about 10 or 11 couples our age. I encouraged him and told him we would love to have him and his wife come and visit. OK. Just so you know, with students I'm pretty blunt, adults I'm really gentle. I didn't just start talking to this dude about church. I got to know him a little, and we had some really good conversations. I thought I was really easing into this. Told him the impact Jesus had made on me...His response, "Church ain't my bag." Alright, so I'm witnessing to Austin Powers. Honestly, who says bag??!! Church has gotten a horrible reputation somewhere down the line. People don't want anything to do with it, and I don't understand. Most of my family doesn't go to church. We have gotten this idea that all the people in their suits and ties and dresses are going to judge us the whole time. Hebrews 10:25 tells us that we should not stop gathering with believers...IF YOU ARE A BELIEVER. I believe that's it. We have so many people who believe they truly know Christ because they said a magical formula of words. Salvation is a transformation of the heart not words, baptism, or any other thing you could do. This incredibly cool guy told me he didn't want anything to do with the Body of Christ. What about you?? Are you denying the gathering of believers?? Do you truly know Christ for who He is?? Is Jesus your bag??

God Produces

Lately if you have seen me or read my blog, you have noticed that I haven't been in the greatest moods. I've been tired and ill. I have been filled with unrighteous anger, not at anyone, but just at the demands of daily life. But through God I have overcome. You see this morning has been different for some reason. It actually started last night when I witness God heal a heart right in front of me. To actually see with my own eyes the transformation of one's desires was absolutely amazing. Right after that, a pastor friend called and wanted me to preach at his church the 27th. I walked in side watching JP climb up the stairs, wondering why God has given me such an amazing life. Megan was at a VBS clinic so me and JP had the whole house to ourselves. I was changing clothes getting prepared for a night of running around battling my strongwilled child when I walked into the living room and he was sitting in my recliner watching the Red Sox. He sat with me the rest of the night. We read our Bible and prayed together and it may have been the best prayer time I have ever had. I woke up at like 10:30 to this beautiful woman who had just gotten home from Fayettville. Man, I have a hot wife. This morning God is just moving in me. Phillipians 2:13 says that God produces in you the desires and actions that please Him. God does it. My desires are wrong and filthy but God desires me to glorify Him. He is so faithful. I'm sorry blog world for my complaining...I'm sorry for not allowing God to produce in me righteousness. Thank you Father for reminding me You are in control. I'm just going to sit here for awhile, worshipping Jesus. Because it is grace that allows me to be here. He has filled my heart with more than I can hold inside. I pray that you too can be reminded of how great Jesus is and be filled.

Mood= Not Good

I know you can't hear the tone of my voice through a blog so let me give you a hint on how I'm feeling: Depressed. I just registered to take summer classes and I just can't figure out what I was thinking. I need a break so badly, but I keep telling myself I can break when I'm done...which seems like it will be never. I just for once in my life want to concentrate on ministry without the stress school puts on me. I remember back in Louisville, the first church I ever served, one lady got so mad at me because I openly said how much I hated school. Well I'm sorry Southern Heights but I'm going to say it again...I hate school. This may sound weird but I love my classes. I have learned so much at Liberty. The knowledge that my professors have is ridiculous, but I hate deadlines, papers, GPA's, tuition...all of that stuff beside the things I learn. I'm guessing this is a pity post. I want someone to give me this great word and tell me that I don't need school. I stinking know I need school...I'm just tired. Does this make sense??

The Dog Factor

Megan and I used to have a yorkie...I hated it. Notice I said we USED to have a yorkie. You see one day I found him chewing on my wallabees, which he knew was wrong. I punished him by sticking him in the toilet and flushing it a few times. He had to fight the strong swirling current of our powerful toilet that was advertised as being able to flush 12 golfballs. OK...I made that up but it was a lot nicer than what I wanted to do to him. For some reason, despite the blatant abuse he took from me in particular, the dog freaking loved me. When Megan got pregnant we had to give him away because of his ferocious jealously. He would attack Megan if she tried to hug me. I wanted to be able to hold my future son so off he went to some unlucky elderly couple. This morning we were approached with the opportunity to have ANOTHER yorkie. I can't believe we are actually considering it. We know JP would love it, but I don't like unneeded responsibility. It pees and dooks and chews on wallabees. It would be nice to say, "Hey I have a dog" but is it worth it?? I need some advice you guys...I want your opinion. The ups and downs of dog ownership. Be honest. Be helpful.

Funniest Thing Ever

So most of you guys who know me know I love to read blogs. I like the rough, uncut, unedited, thoughts of people. They just fascinate me. So today as I was going down "my reads" column, I came across this blog. I have never laughed so stinking hard in my life. He has dedicated his time to make fun of things that Christians seem to be obsessed with. I know most of you guys are way too busy to go down the list and read everything so I figured I would post my most favorite three so far:

• The Bald Worship Leader
• The Mandatory youth minister goatee
• Flags, Handbells, and Puppets (please read this one)

I want to thank Prodigal John for making me laugh this morning....I needed it.

DM Demolition

Was anyone else's services slow last night. I know the weather was horrible, but even our adults seemed to be dragging around. It just seemed like everyone was going through the motions. It's really discouraging, but I know God is in control and we'll see fruit from last night.

• We only had 12 students last night but we were competing with a track meet so I'm ok with the number. We had two first timers last night which was really good.
• Worship included: Jeremy Camp, Walk by Faith; David Crowder, Wonderful King; and Kristian Stanfill, Beautiful Savior.
• God is the Wonderful Counselor. You can trust him because His wisdom is beyond our understanding. It's more than saying, "yes Jesus. Save me." We must turn our life over to Him and allow Him to lead us.

I love our students with a passion. We have some really stinking cool kids. Pray for us.

Tim Hawkins

Holding Hands
Tim Hawkins is one of the funniest guys I've ever heard.

Corporate Worship Tunes

A Slow Wednesday Morning

A lot of things are going through my head as I sit here in my quiet office. Number 1, I can't seem to get any evnergy. Every stinking morning I'm sitting here battling the dark force of sleep. I know I'm not eating right and I know I probably need to start taking some vitamins. To be honest with you I would choke down some broccoli if I knew I was going to gain some energy.

As I went through my reads this morning I came across Madonna'a new video. I just watched four minutes of a woman telling me that the world could be saved if we all just have sex. Excuse me, but what a moron. Do we realize that this song in already like number three on the itune download list??!! This is what our students are jamming out to at home, in the car, and wherever else they have an mp3 player stuck in their ear. Our students are being crushed with the idea that sex will make everything better...church we need to do something.

I got to play some basketball yesterday although I didn't feel like it at all. I actually feel guilty if I don't go. That's the only excercise this overweight brother gets. I really like playing with some of those guys and I'm getting to build stronger relationships with them each time we play. God is going opening some doors right now and I'm loving it.

Pray for us tonight...God, please move...

Confessions of a Youth Pastor

I watched a sermon series done by Oak Leaf Church in Cartersville, GA, and the Pastor did a series called "Confessions of a Pastor". He seemed to be really relieved to get some things off his chest. In the ministry, people sometimes have unrealistic views of who you are. They forget you are a human that battles the sin nature every day just like the rest. I get so frustrated when a student says, "I wish I could be more like you, just closer to Jesus." The truth is Jesus does NOT want anyone else like me...he wants you to be like Him. I feel the need to just open up about some of my personal struggles. Here are a few confessions:

• I absolutely hate talking on the phone.
• I think the song "Realize" by Colbie Callait could be one of the greatest songs I've ever heard.
• Sometimes me and Megan fight.
• Prayer is seriously a weak point in my walk with Christ.
• I have family that are spiritually lost that I have yet to share Christ directly with.
• I eat WAY TOO much.
• I'm jealous of people who can play guitar.
• David Bradshaw...wait...this ones tough...David Bradshaw is my role model...there I said it.
• I don't wear a seat belt...ok that one is going to get me in some trouble.

I feel a lot better now. You see I'm human, but God has given me this insatiable desire to be close to Him because He chose me. I still do and say some really stupid things, but grace is a beautiful concept. Romans 5:18-21 says:

18Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. 19For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
20The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

I love all you guys so much. Please remember...don't strive to be more like me, Bro. Scott, John Piper, or anyone else. Desire to be just like Jesus.

Waves and Wind

This morning I came into my office prepared to defend my beloved Tar Heels from you butchers (Phillip, Destiny, etc.) but I was sidetracked. But first I do feel the need to say...Kansas played outstanding. North Carolina came out flat and you could tell this as they were walking out as their names were called. I'm actually a little nervous about naming the winner of the championship, but I believe Memphis is going to be just too athletic.

Back to my sidetracked morning, the Apostle Paul says it best: 11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.

A lot of us love the idea that we may know something that somebody else doesn't. It is the high of secrecy and knowledge that drives us to the point where when ANYONE who tells us ANYTHING that sounds a little different we jump on it with excitement instead of fleeing like James tells us. The bible is very clear. Don't just listen to anything and believe it without consulting the ultimate authority...higher than my views, Pastor Wes' views, David Bradshaw's views, or anyone else's views....God's Truth is the final stopping point to see if something is right or wrong. I hope this made some sense...if it didn't please comment, and I'll clarify. My heart this morning is this...That we may know Christ and that we will continue to grow in our faith and knowledge so we can be mature. Don't get pushed around by waves and wind...

Saturday's Seven

• I got to chaperon Berryville High School's prom promise last night. From midnight to 5, I got to go to a skating rink, play basketball, hunt Easter eggs, play tug-o-war, and win some gift cards.
• Chelsea, a senior at BHS, pretty much did everything herself. To see a student care for her peers so much was amazing.
• We had our last 6th grade basketball game today. Oh what a joyous feeling.
• We have completely moved everything into our new house...that also is a joyous feeling.
• The Final Four is tonight. Another night for North Carolina to dominate.
• Not only were the comments posted, but also the comments from readers who have yet figured out how to post, were overwhelmingly against my new tight jeans and popped collar look. Back to the drawing board.
• We are talking about God, the Wonderful Counselor, Wed. night...Come check us out.

Quick Points

Here are just a few things that are on my mind this morning...

• We won our basketball game last night...One more to go and I'm finished.
• Our new home will be so awesome when we get new carpet and everything in order.
• I need to drive to Green Forest today to pick up a basketball I lost, but I really don't want to go.
• I think it is going to rain forever in this stinking town.
• It's almost 10 and I haven't done anything this morning.
• Will I find time to get a haircut in the next two weeks?
• I'm not near as cool as I would like to think.
• I need some new clothes...Megan would disagree, but I'm wanting a change. Maybe some tight jeans and a popped collar? What do you think?
• Will I be in Student Ministry forever??
• If not, will I be one of these old guys who is constantly telling the youth pastor, "You know I was in youth ministry a long time and you really need to be doing this..."
• If that happens please slap me.

Please feel free to comment...especially on the tight jeans:)

DM Demolition

Well, Last night was the first night in a LONG time I kind of lost my cool with a couple of students. It was before we really even got started. Through the announcements and opening I noticed that their minds were just out there. I understand that these guys are only 14...15 years old. The respect issue in Alabama was never a problem, but for some reason up here kids are just raised differently. Anyway, they were doing nothing major, but I knew if we didn't shut it down at that very moment a lot of students were going to be distracted. Before I said anything, Al Jackson, the Pastor of Lakeview Baptist in Auburn, AL, popped into my head and said, "Blessed Subtractions." I used to hear him say that when referring to church growth. Sometimes people have to leave before you can grow. So I called the kids out. Told them it was because of their lack of respect and reverence for God more students weren't coming to Jesus. I know. Harsh. So I backed up and added it was because of all of our nonchalant attitudes about Jesus that the vast majority of Berryville schools are lost. It actually turned into a great opener that drove the point I was going to try and get across all night. Worldly things, good or bad, will hurt your relationship with Christ if you make them your idol. We are so worried about our cool points, our relationships, our activities, an so many other things that Jesus and our relationship with Him is on bottom. Our relationship with Christ is a progressive thing. We have to do more than give him an hour a week. We love the stuff that comes along with Jesus, the peace, good feelings, fellowship, trips...What we do is worship the GIFTS rather than the GIVER. Anyway that night turned out great. Those students came and apologized and I believe many others were convicted by the Holy Spirit about their shallowness in Christ. To see a student realize sin...and repent...is beautiful. The sound of bitter weeping over the realization surface Christianity...is beautiful.

A quick shout out to the TJ Mauldin Band:
We worshipped to the new cd. Letting Go, I Can't Help but Worship, and Wasting Away...it's a great cd that was truly made out of your guys love for Jesus. I can't wait to see you guys in August. Blog World check out their myspace and buy that cd.

Expectations

I'm dealing a lot with expectations here lately. People have expectations of me and they should. I've been hired to do a job and I appreciate accountability. No one has ever came to me at Southern Heights with an illogical expectation. So, I to have expectations. Here are some:

• I expect my church love Jesus.
• I expect my pastor to preach biblical messages.
• I expect to see my church meet needs.
• I expect to see people serve out of their love for Jesus.
• I expect to shake hands and hug when I see my brothers and sisters in Christ.
• I expect to see evangelism, ministry, worship, discipleship, and fellowship be the core desires of our Church.

I see these things at Southern Heights and I'm excited about that.

Still Moving

I finally feel like a normal person again. All of this moving stuff got to me a lot more than I expected. It seems like we had to start all of this at the exact busiest time of our lives. I'm trying to get our next series in order to teach our students, school is more demanding than it has ever been, and the weather has really stunk. I'm so glad that I have a pastor who understands life and it's demands. Not once have I heard him ask why I was a little late. He just understands and it makes things a lot easier. My wife is still the most amazing person ever though. She tends to JP, feeds us, cleans, allows me to do the other 1 million things I'm commited to, and everytime I bring a load of stuff home she organizes it in it's place in point 6 seconds. I love her...a lot, and I know she loves me by all of the above. Marriage is amazing. Hopefully I'll finish the rest of the move tomorrow night after our Student Services. If you drive, come over and get a load in your car. If you have muscles, let me help you build them.

Go To Sleep Boy

I remember back in the day when parenting was easy. When I embraced the responsibility with vigor, those were the good days. Last night though was absolutely horrible. JP has always went to bed on his own and slept through the night. Never, unless he was sick, have we had to be like normal parents and let him cry. Last night was a first except this was not a cry. This was a blatant screaming attempt to get us to rock him all the way to sleep. I know we are in a new place and he is not in his bed but in a playpen thing, but I never thought I would hear him fight us like that. Well, he won the battle. He was rocked to sleep and he slept through the night. I tried to go in his room and reason with him, but reasoning with a 2 year old is a lot harder than it seems. Although I was angry he won, feeling that hug when I went in there was...beautiful. If my love for JP is like hate compared to God's love for me...I'll never comprehend it. I don't think we are capable of knowing that great love. I just want to worship Jesus right now before the daily tasks of life began to overshadow that amazing love. Be blessed you guys.